3 steps to overcome self-doubt in your online service business
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Mentioned in this episode:
The “Not-Self” conditioning that led to consistent self-doubt, filtering my words and people-pleasing.
The traits that can limit our potential and affect the authenticity of our expression.
The impact self-doubt, people-pleasing and fear-based inaction had on my business and the 3 action steps I took to turn it all around.
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I was having a conversation with one of my dear friends recently. She was having a moment which we all do, where she was questioning things in her business and overthinking a little.
She was wondering what her point of difference is in her business and I basically shared with her how much that same thinking had impacted me if I’m honest, over the past couple of years.
After I burned out and realised I needed to do things differently in my business, I started exploring my Human Design and Astrology which I’ve shared about loads.
Something that became super obvious to me through this exploration was just how dysregulating things were in the online space, particularly some of the sales and marketing tactics that were happening, particularly in the coaching space.
It basically became impossible for people to properly follow their Strategy and Authority (based on their Human Design) because everything was so urgent.
Prices doubling within 48 hours was never going to give someone with an emotional wave enough time to sit with whether an investment was a consistent yes, let alone giving a Reflector enough time.
And I realised that I wanted to be a better example of what that looks like.
For example, recently I had a Mental Projector purchase Constantly Converting which is our 12-week hybrid group coaching and curriculum-led program for coaches and service providers wanting to nail their messaging, offer and sales strategies.
Then less than a week later, she reached out about NEON because she loved Constantly Converting so much.
Part of our application process for NEON is that I review a potential client's Human Design and Astrology and provide strategic advice for them in their business.
I could see she was a Mental Projector and her authority was Mental/Environmental authority (or no inner Authority).
Read more about how important your Authority is for decision-making in your business in this blog: “How to use Human DeSign to find your ideal business model in the online service industry”
For this authority, being able to soundboard is so important and so while my normal process is to record a Loom with my strategic recommendations to those who apply to join NEON, I also invited her to a call so she had the opportunity to soundboard and talk through the decision.
She joined NEON later that day.
Yes, she got on the call already having decided that she was in. BUT, it felt so good to be able to support her in that decision-making.
This is also a big reason why my two core offers are evergreen. So that people have that space to follow their strategy and authority, without the pressure of a deadline.
But what happened through this process of identifying what I didn’t like and wanting to set an example, I started overthinking EVERYTHING (not just my sales and marketing process).
I didn’t post content that I didn’t consider “differentiated enough” and I second-guessed almost everything.
I got very stuck in comparison and what everyone else was doing because I wanted to make sure I was doing things more “honourably”.
I stopped speaking to my client as sovereign, self-responsible humans because “I wanna make sure everyone has the space they need to make the *right* decisions for themselves”.
I took it way too far and it was absolutely a reflection of my Not-Self themes namely the combination of my Undefined Spleen, Ego and Solar Plexus (plus I’m a 5th line and so I’m very aware of the projections that people have about my life and business!)
The Undefined Ego and Solar Plexus created this unhealthy obsession with proving and “keeping the peace” with everyone and anything, while also holding onto my feelings about what I was seeing for WAY too long.
I shared with my friend that I realised I had got addicted to my stories and it was making it really hard to grow beyond where I was at, let alone feel fun and joy in my business.
I was still investing in mentoring and learning but it wasn’t having the desired impact and this was why.
I was never going to grow beyond my stories.
And I realised I had to radically change how I was showing up for my business and be more intentional about how I was going about things.
“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” – Sylvia Plath
And I was letting self-doubt limit my potential for more creativity and more growth in my business.
Why your creative process matters more than anything else.
This process showed me just how important it is to curate the conditions that are necessary for you to have a supportive creative process that not only feels enjoyable but sets the foundations for you to be wildly successful.
Because the truth is that the act of creating an IG post, for example, is a tiny part of the whole process.
To create a post, you need to know your ideal client, you need to create space to have ideas, you need to cultivate the courage and confidence to share those ideas.
This is something I spoke about in a recent blog: “How to build a personal brand like a billionaire”.
I discussed the difference between a personal brand and a business brand and I went through 7 ways you can cultivate more authority in your online business.
One of those points was around having and sharing opinions. I had so much feedback from that episode so I want to dive deeper into this point today.
So let’s go back to what was playing out for me and how I navigated it and then let’s discuss some examples that might be playing out for you
When you get your Human Design chart, you will see it represented by a “bodygraph”.
If you haven’t downloaded your HD chart yet, head here to do it!
It also has handy little descriptions about each of the centres and what to be aware of when it comes to the application of your business.
The bodygraph is a series of geometric shapes that are either coloured or not (white). Each of these shapes represents an energy centre with unique energies flowing in and out.
If the energy centre is coloured (‘Defined’), the qualities imbued in this energy centre are fixed and reliable, as are its traits and functions.
When it is white the energy centre is ‘Undefined’ and the energy here is inconsistent and unreliable.
In these Undefined centres, we sample and amplify the energy of people around us that are Defined in this centre. Because of this, we are naturally more vulnerable to conditioning in our Undefined centres.
Please know: there is no right or wrong in Human Design, and whether you are defined or not in a centre is neither better or worse. It’s about understanding and embracing what’s consistent and what is inconsistent.
When we talk about “Not-Self” in Human Design, it's referring to the shadow qualities of these centres, which is more notable in our Undefined (white) centres in because this is where we are more susceptible to our environment and amplifying the energy of that.
Basically, the Undefined centres influence our Strategy and Authority and can really hijack our experience.
If this is all new to you, you may want to read a recent blog: “How to use Human Design to find your ideal business model in the online service industry” that takes you through your Energy Type and Authority and what it means for your ideal business model.
Let’s have a conversation about my Undefined centres and from there, I’ll tell you the tangible steps I take to nourish my creative process and how you can apply this to your own life and business, too.
My Undefined centres are:
Solar Plexus:
This is actually said to be at the top of the “Not-Self Hierarchy” which basically means that if you have multiple centres that are open, including this one, then it is likely that the conditioning from this centre is the most intense in your experience.
The Solar Plexus represents emotions, passion, desire and depth.
If you have an Undefined Solar Plexus like me, you may feel like an emotional person but really you are riding the waves of the emotions passed on by others.
You pick up and amplify the emotions of those around you and may feel like you take on the feelings of the room.
Your natural state is cool, calm and collected and you are here to grow wise around other people’s feelings, amplify them and mirror them back. This makes you so empathetic and you have a gift of understanding others and holding space for them.
When in the Not-Self, however, the frequency of this openness is avoiding confrontation, avoiding truth and just getting caught up in people pleasing because you’re afraid of how others are going to react.
You have an inconsistent sense of your own emotions and so there’s fear of how everything will be handled if “shit hits the fan”.
Ego:
This centre is all about Ego, willpower and self-love. It is where all of your heart's desires are fuelled and it pushes us on in life.
It is here that we feel our worth.
When fully embodied, we know we are inherently worthy, we honour our natural on/off energy of willpower and pursue our desires, including material gain, without being ruled by it.
If you have an Undefined Ego, like I do, I want you to know that you are not here with something to prove in this life.
You are inherently worthy and deserving, without always needing to be more than you in this very moment.
You have inconsistent access to willpower which may cause you to over-commit, compete, come up short and struggle with how you value yourself. You are here to mirror back life’s values without having to prove yourself in your actions.
When in the Not-Self, however, the frequency of this centre is one of proving, of questioning value and worth. And when we start to question, we start to outsource and we look to others to validate our sense of worth instead of trusting in our inherent self-worth.
Spleen:
The spleen is the most primal energy centre and is home to environmental awareness and pure survival. Fully embodied it is joyful and thriving but in its shadow it’s fearful.
This energy centre is constantly trying to keep you safe and thriving, giving you the primal instinct and intuition in the moment.
If you have an Undefined Spleen like I do, you are a mirror to others' well-being, fears and anxiety so can often find yourself advising on ways others can get back into alignment with their health and holding space for their fears and anxiety.
You may not be able to tune in to yourself in the same way, though.
When in the Not-Self, the frequency of this centre looks like holding onto things for too long out of fear, avoiding taking action on things you feel fear around and even getting rid of things that are healthy for you way too soon.
If we bring all of the “Not-Self” themes together… we’ve got:
Trying to prove my value and worth
Avoiding confrontation
People-pleasing and keeping the peace
Holding onto things for too long
Not taking action on things that feel scary
Which manifested in:
Avoiding speaking my truth and questioning my ideas, opinions and content
Holding onto my stories of everything that is wrong with the coaching industry for way too long, which impacted my actions and my business
People pleasing and writing “beige” content because it was easier than saying what I really meant
Over-delivering and giving too much to people who didn’t appreciate it
Keeping team members for way too long
How I got OUT of my Not-Self
Well, the first thing was I needed to just accept these Not-Self tendencies and accept that these are the things that were impacting me and my business.
I think we can tell ourselves stories that “we’re better than that” and the truth was… I am someone who can get really caught up in comparison, self-doubt and questioning my worth.
The moment I accepted it I was able to voice this to my energy mentor Frankie Simmons, to my husband, get some coaching and move forward.
And this was the action I took as a result…
I unfollowed everyone on IG
The quickest way for me to get caught up in the Not-Self of all of those centres is to consume too much.
I had so many stories about what people would think if I unfollowed people and wasn’t “contributing” but the truth is, this is what I needed to do to be the best version of myself and create the impact I wanted to create.
As an example, recently I created content for IG and spent less than 4 hours on there for the whole week. 😱
And you know what…
My engagement is up
My Podcast listens are up
And my connection is better than it was when I followed everyone because I actually go into people’s accounts who I love to follow and I contribute and connect with them because it's on my terms.
I’m not questioning my value as much because I’m not being shown as much content and this means it's easier for me to be connected to my Strategy and Authority.
As a result, I’m writing better content and feeling in flow with it which means I’m also taking more content risks.
2. I sat with every “worst-case scenario” possibility
What would happen if people hated my content and told me I sucked?
What would happen if someone told me I was a “fraud” and I don’t know what I’m talking about?
What would happen if I woke up tomorrow and my business crashed to the ground?
How would that make me feel? What would be the scariest thing about this situation?
Perhaps, the answer to that is that I wouldn’t know what I was doing with my life.
I know it sounds so morbid. But these were the things that were keeping me stuck.
These were the fears my Undefined Spleen was holding onto. And so I created the space to be held in this, alongside my energy coach, Frankie Simmons, and I let all of it come up.
I didn’t try to tell myself that those things wouldn’t happen - I just pretended they did. I felt those feelings, realised I wouldn’t die if it was all real life, and started to slowly move forward.
Any time I feel my mind going to these places, I remind myself that I have felt those things and they didn’t destroy me or define me, and I come back to presence:
What can I see around me right now?
What can I hear right now?
What feels true right now?
3. I created my “Effortless Channel” Creative Ecosystem
I also shared about this in the recent blog “How to build a personal brand like a billionaire”.
You can’t create killer content and be a thought leader in your space if your environment isn’t setting you up for success.
I’ve just shared about what I removed, both in a physical sense (Instagram following) and an energetic sense (fear-based emotions), but I was also looking for something to ground me in the day-to-day.
This is where the “Effortless Channel” comes in. I constructed this creative ecosystem with my energy coach Frankie as a means of creating the conditions that were conducive for me to have good thoughts and ideas.
And how I help my clients create this for themselves too.
Here’s a little sneak peek at what this looks like for me:
The key is to put yourself in a position where you’re able to attune to your Strategy and Authority in Human Design and have your opinions shared from that perspective, rather than forcing the opinion or it coming from your Not-Self.
Coming back to my own experience, I realised that the openness of my Solar Plexus, Ego and Spleen centres were contributing to me initiating and forcing content (because I also have a Defined Head and Ajna and so there’s no shortage of things going on in my mind!)
I wasn’t letting things move through my sacral response. I was moving too early because my definition in the top centres, combined with the Not-Self of my Undefined centres were creating a lot of premature action.
And so one of the things I have on my Creative Ecosystem is body processing which is basically some practices to help me “empty out”. I don’t do a lot of meditation but I do quite a bit of counted breathing exercises and movement.
(and it’s only 6 minutes!)
I also have:
Connection/conversation: this feels so important for me to feel connected and create that sense of belonging. It’s also so important for my Sacral response.
Sport: I loveeee sport and it always helps me to anchor into inspiration and excitement. As a Sacral, I’m here to really know myself and to prioritise my own excitement and this feels like part of that.
Solitude: in Astrology, your Moon sign represents your emotional well-being and what you need to feel emotionally supported. My Moon is in Sagittarius which is a mutable fire sign that values freedom, adventure, travel and playfulness. It’s also in my 12H which is the house of dreams, fantasies, the unseen. It’s a deep thinking House and it is also connected with solitude and alone time. Each day, I have alone time. It’s a conversation I had with my husband and daughter about how important it is for my mental health and we make it happen, even if it's just a walk around the block.
How this might apply for you
Let’s workshop what this might look like for you, based on how I’ve coached clients through this in the past.
Example 1 - Past EXPERIENCES
Maybe you’ve put your work out in the past and it’s been stolen and copied and so there’s a fear of that happening again. Maybe you also have an Undefined Spleen and so you're really holding onto that fear because of that trauma and the experience you’ve had.
How can you support that?
Maybe there is an opportunity to create a safe space and then sit with the feelings of that happening again as a way to remind yourself that you will move through that even if it happens.
That you have tools and skills that you probably didn’t have at the time that can support you to have healthy conflict and to protect your intellectual property.
What does that look like for your creative ecosystem?
Maybe you do some inner child work there and really “love on” the younger version of you. Or perhaps, you include some self-massage or some breathwork practices that are centred around personal power.
Overall, it will probably include having some great boundaries around your environment to promote your well-being and ensure you’re not in the Not-Self of that Centre.
Example 2 - Holding onto one way of doing things
Maybe you really value intimacy in your coaching work but you always want to expand and reach more people but you’ve created a story that you won’t be able to do that with more people.
Or perhaps you have an Undefined Solar Plexus and Ego like me and you’ve been in people pleasing and needing to prove energy and this is an opportunity to review that and to implement a creative ecosystem that supports you to listen to your Strategy and Authority.
Maybe you really want to be working with a more established business owner but you’re currently attracting people who are new.
Do you need to unfollow people on social media and create some solid boundaries around your own creation to make sure you’re really writing for that client that you want to attract.
Maybe it’s joining a mastermind where you’re exposed to those kinds of people regularly.
Example 3 - Non-Sacrals
Maybe you’re a non-Sacral (Manifestor, Projector, Reflector) and you’ve really struggled to decondition your Sacral and have even experienced burnout a few times.
Again, what does that look like for your own ecosystem?
If you’re a Projector, are you prioritising developing your skillset and resting?
If you’re a Manifestor, can you take stock of when you are asking for permission rather than initiating from a place of true inner Authority? How do you discern when you’re receiving a Not-Self urge versus a True Self urge?
If you’re a Reflector, have you given yourself the opportunity to really witness your unique lunar cycle so that you have a greater connection and understanding of each new iteration of self to build confidence in who you truly are?
Where to go from here?
These are the kinds of inquiries and also the intentionality that means you not only stay in the game but you create and achieve in the way that you desire.
That you create the million-dollar brand without your Not-Self trying to hijack it every step of the way.
We spoke about this in a recent free 3-day event - 7 Figure Prison Freedom. In the replay, I’ll be teaching you how to scale your business using your Human Design so you can build a profitable business model and product suite (and a business that won’t end up feeling like a 7 figure prison)
7 figure freedom: A 3-day live event to learn how to use your HUMAN DESIGN to build a profitable business model and product suite with offers you love to deliver.
So before you build a “7 Figure Prison”, here’s what you to do instead:
Prioritise understanding your HUMAN DESIGN and how it impacts the most PROFITABLE product suite for you and your business.
AND HERE’S WHAT WE COVERed OVER THE 3 DAYS:
Day 1: Your Scaling Capacity: The ONE thing nobody is talking about when it comes to having a scalable business model - once you know this, everything changes.
Day 2: Your Human Design: You’ll discover the most aligned business model for you based on your unique human design energy type to unlock more ease and profits.
Day 3: 90 minute Q&A: Receive personalised insights on building a profitable business model that fuels your joy rather than creating the "7 Figure Prison."
APPLY FOR NEON
APPLY TO WORK 1:1
HUMAN DESIGN DEEP DIVE EXCLUSIVELY FOR 7 FIGURE FOUNDERS
I’m Jazze Jervis
Jazze Jervis is a business coach supporting high achieving service providers to increase their visibility, scale their brands and increase profits with *personalised* strategies, human design and astrology so they can experience “richness” without the sacrifice.
